Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
