I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
