I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
