We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
