she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
