we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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