I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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