I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
