last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
