I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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