why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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