Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
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