New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
