Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
