i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I need moral support for this bender
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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