but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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