My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
