Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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