Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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