Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
