do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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