Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
do herpes really smell.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
