I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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