ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
