I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
