I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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