you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
