I think im going to throw up on grandma
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
