Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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