This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
