return my video game
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
