walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
