im six kinds of drunk right now
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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