one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
