Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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