Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
