hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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