wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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