I think scott just propositioned me for sex
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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