my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
