remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Pooping to opera.
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