You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
