Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
