good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
