I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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