you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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