so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
