At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
