what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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