how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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